Now on to the more interesting things. I built a house this weekend. And now that the shock is over, let me further that statement by saying: My Robotics Team helped the Habitat For Humanity build houses this weekend. It was AWESOME!!!! Getting muddy, climbing on roofs, hanging from rafters while trying to nail some cross-beams together, etc. It was freaking amazing. My tennis shoes are so encased in mud, that I think I must go get a rake to clean them.
"And now for something completely different."*
Here are some of the many ironic questions of life:
FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY
1. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR...
2. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.
3. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?
4. THE REASON SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.
5. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED "WHERE'S THE SELF-HELP SECTION?"
SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.
6. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?
7. IF A DEAF PERSON SWEARS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?
8. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT
CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?
9. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?
10. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?"
11. WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?
12. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?
13. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?
14. WHY LOCK GAS STATION BATH ROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?
15. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?
16. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?
17. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DOES HE HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?
18. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?
19. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?
20. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?
21. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.
22. DO INFANTS ENJOY INFANCY AS MUCH AS ADULTS ENJOY ADULTERY?
23. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?
24. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?
25. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?
26. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?
27. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD "LISP" TO HAVE "S" IN IT?
28. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?
29. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?
30. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL MAN IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES DOES HE BECOME DISORIENTED?
31. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?
8 comments:
Well, I was going to forgive you until the "Lo Lo Siento" part. That glaring offense against nature aside, yes, I agree. It's very hard to keep updating, especially sans comments.
Also, when I'm trying to graduate-- really, it's the little things in life that keep me offline.
But it's nice to hear from you again, even with all the asterisks and Monty Python.
You rock. And what's wrong with lo lo siento. Is it just wrong grammatically? And graduating is no big deal, you could do that in your sleep.
Haha. Wow.
Lo siento means 'I'm sorry'. Hence, Lo lo siento means 'I'm I'm sorry'. Then again, I almost failed Spanish.
Oh wow. I knew that. So I guess I should have just said Lo Siento.
DO you think I should fix it?
Nooo! If you fix it, said fix shall render our comments...inapplicable! Gah! DON'T DO IT, GIRL!
Wow, freak out! =) no, I figured that out after I had written it, and didn't feel like deleting my comment, so Don't worry Miss Snow shant delete said error. =)
Humans didn't evolve from apes, humans and apes have both evolved from the same creature that doesn't exist anymore. The apes evolved in a way that they could live in the woods, from foods they collected and the humans evolved well, to what we are now.
It's all clearly explained in the evolution theory!
Thank you very much anonymous.
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